The Writing Ritual

Updated: Jun 7, 2019

Why You Should Be Journaling

As a Soul Coach, I've had the honor of working with hundreds of clients and witnessing their beautiful transformations on the Ascension journey. I've helped many awakening souls, twin flames, empaths, and lightworkers heal inner wounds and trauma, clear negative thought patterns, shift beliefs, and step into their full potential.

Loving and honoring yourself fully is what puts you in a state of trust, connects you to your true power, and enables you to align and become the truest, highest version of yourself. I utilize many tools and techniques to help my clients turn up the self-love, and step out of fear and into alignment, but there is one tool that is universally needed by all. Do you know what that is?. . .

It's the need to learn how to become self-supportive and self-validating. Why is this so essential for our healing process and evolution? Because, without it, we'll always be seeking support and validation outside of ourselves, and we'll continue to emotionally bypass without learning how to process our emotions fully and release what no longer serves us.

So, how do we stop emotionally bypassing, and get into a healthy practice of supporting ourselves?. . .

One simple answer. Writing.

Some people love to write and some people hate it, and still many have never tried journal writing. The biggest hesitancy with journal writing is the fear of truly seeing ourselves, the good, the bad, and the ugly -- Those parts we hide away, stuff down, or ignore for fear of being judged or rejected by others, or, even worse, by ourselves. Our ego wants to protect us from reliving painful experiences and our inner critic wants to deny us what is rightfully ours to feel because it could get messy or cause us to become unraveled. That's the thing about journaling, though; you don't fall apart, you become more whole in the process.

Here are my tips for journaling and establishing a practice of self-support and self-validation:

1. Hand write in cursive.

Cursive handwriting stimulates synchronicity between the left and right brain hemispheres, thus allowing our logical and analytical mind to work in tandem with our creative, expressive, and emotional side (the side we are aiming to open up). Writing in cursive also opens up the ability to just let it all pour out. This is called stream of consciousness writing, and it enables us to come in touch with our inner dialogue, expressing with fluidity and continuity, absent of stops and interruptions. This also helps subconscious or suppressed feelings to surface and be released via the vehicle of writing.

2. Get it all out.

Give yourself permission to write the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sit down with the intention of suspending your inner critic while you delve into what you are feeling. You may write a page one day and 10 pages the next. It matters not how much you write but that your writing is the truth of your inner process. It may get messy for a moment, you may cry, you may get angry, you may feel afraid, and that's okay. We must go into our emotions and allow them to move through us so we can heal, forgive, release, and find balance once again.

3. Leave the subject line blank.

We're so used to filling in the subject line of emails that it has almost become automatic, but when you sit down to journal, allow yourself to write about anything and leave the subject line blank. You may want to write about your bad day, a great experience you recently had, a lost love, a traumatic childhood memory -- Whatever you are called to in that moment is what is right for you. Let it take shape and morph and change. Stream of consciousness writing is free writing; it allows your thoughts to meander and to take different directions. For example, you may find yourself writing about a painful memory when you were made fun of by kids on the school playground, but then suddenly remember how you loved playing hopscotch at that age. You may write about your grandfather's passing and the unprocessed grief you feel and then be led to a memory of a particular flower at his funeral, the same flower your spouse just brought home for you in a heartfelt gesture, reminding you of what a loving and caring partner you have. These are associative memories and thoughts, and there is great benefit in allowing ourselves to explore anything, everything, and whatever comes up for us when we write.

4. Write a letter.

You can change it up every now and then and make your journal entry in the form of a letter. This is a letter, however, that you will never send, so in essence you are addressing it to someone but giving it to yourself. If you have any level of grief, lack of closure in a relationship, or unsaid or unexpressed emotions with someone or some situation, this is a great technique to use. You may find yourself expressing love, gratitude, regrets, joy, anger, longing, or sadness, but whatever the case, know how cathartic and therapeutic this is. Many people are able to clear heart and throat chakra blocks by doing this type of exercise. Often, we'll see where we need to support and love ourselves better, as the letter may reveal the illusion of "needing" resolution or support from the other person, but in fact, we may discover that we are able to give this to ourselves.

5. Read it back and hold space for yourself.

After you have written your entry for the day, step away for a moment or two, have some water or make a cup of tea, and then return back to your journal. You are now a compassionate onlooker, a gentle, non-judgmental friend who has arrived to hear what you wrote, empathize with you, and see what you are really going through. When you read this back to yourself in the role of caring friend, you will begin to see things that you hadn't noticed about yourself before, like where you're really hurting inside, what needs nurturing deep within you, and what fears and beliefs are okay to release because they have merely served as protection mechanisms. You'll learn to hold space for yourself without judgment and will gain powerful insights into your psyche and emotional body.

6. Self-validate.

The biggest benefit of inviting yourself in as the compassionate onlooker is that you, in the role of your 'friend', can validate what you feel. I encourage my clients to make smiley or sad faces next to the appropriate emotions or to draw a heart next to those words that are pointing to the need for greater self love. When we have doubts stirring within us, this process can help us see through the fears and low self-esteem and build us back up so we are self-celebrating, not just self-validating.

I frequently hear clients say, "Nobody supports me or sees me for who I am." I so get it. I was there once, too. These beliefs are usually a product of our core wounding, resulting from being shut down or shamed as a child, feeling overlooked, not good enough, abandoned, or unloved. Learning to self-support and self-validate by going to yourself first for approval is a foreign concept to many of us. We're used to turning to a friend, our mother, or a spouse to gain approval and be happy for or proud of us. Problem is, when we don't know how to support ourselves, when we bypass our emotions, stuff them down, and deny or reject them from within, the mirror reflection held up for us will be disapproval or lack of enthusiasm or support from others. To receive it, we must practice it from within, and the best part is we'll become more self-assured and we really won't "need" it from others anymore. Plus, when you are supporting and validating yourself (remember the law of attraction is still at work), you will pull in more supportive relationships, attitudes will begin to shift around you, and you'll begin receiving help, support, and love from all directions.

"Once you shift into honoring yourself, this shift will ripple into the understanding of others." ~ Jo Jayson

Journaling is a gift that you can give yourself daily which will lead to greater self-love, self-reliance, and vast emotional healing.

Recently, I stumbled across the most beautiful journal, called Practice You by Elena Brower. I highly recommend that each and every one of you go out and get this. It is very reasonably priced, high quality, and is available via Amazon, Barnes and Noble, as well as other online retailers.

Take a peek at some of the gorgeous pages:

"Practice You is a map to your highest self; a field guide of your own creation. The pages of this Journal are full of potent prompts and inviting spaces, awaiting your contemplations and discoveries." ~ Elena Brower

Described as a journal for your musings, miracles, and manifestations, this practice space provides the "room" to get to know your authentic self and understand what nourishes your soul and ignites your spirit. It is unique, down to earth, colorful, and inviting, so you'll be enticed to go to it daily and create a stunning map to your highest self. Visit for more information.

Kimberly's VU: Personally, I used to record signs and synchronicities or create manifestation journals, but when it came to actually sitting down and writing my feelings on a piece of paper, I detested the thought. When I finally started the process of journaling, I noticed that my biggest hangup was not wanting the material to "live" after I had finished writing it. So, I would read it back, judge myself, tear out the pages, throw them away, or even burn them. With continued practice and the help of my own mentors and teachers, I learned to stop judging myself for what I was thinking and feeling. As I allowed myself to feel and express, feel and express, feel and express, this process became much more therapeutic. Sometimes I still tear out the pages after I write in them, however it is no longer because I am rejecting or judging myself. This is now more of a process of releasing the emotions to rid of old energy and a cleansing ritual. You'll find your own ritual with journaling too. Bend the rules, make it a freeing practice, find what motivates you to write, and in time, you'll find what works best for you.

Post by Kimberly Alleyna @spiritualmaterialgirl

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